When your eraser gets so dirty that it draws instead of erasing.
Today I’m getting discharged. I had my last antibiotic at 10 and now I’m waiting to get my picc put. I got my flu vaccine earlier and I’m almost done packing.
I started The Blood of Olympus, the last book of the Hero’s of Olympus. I’m already halfway through it and it’s amazing! Hoping to leave here soon and see my dog and sleep in my own bed.
Thats all for now,
I woke up nervously. I had a bronchoscopy today. I ended up being put on call, which meant that I would go down earlier than scheduled. Heading down around 11 instead of 12, I got vitals and answered all the questions.
Luckily I didn’t have to change into a gown down in the Pre-op room, having already changed in my room. I needed to do a treatment since I have therapy at 12, so they had me do albuterol through a nebulizers, which is always fun since it makes me extremely shaky.
The anesthesiologists came in, gave me some relaxing medicine through my picc and rolled me down to the operating room.
Waking up was difficult since they gave me more anesthesia than they do when I get a picc. The procedure went fine, nothing but inflammation. They took biopsy’s and are testing it.
Yesterday I had my dressing changed on my picc. It had bled more on top of the already dried blood. I have skin breakage underneath so they put medapore dressing on it, which is like gauze.
The downside is that I have to get it changed every other day, but that’s not really a problem for me. I like when I get it changed because then it exposes the skin to air.
From the skin breakage there is redness and basically skin breakage. It can get infected and such easier.
I’m working on another mandala and I’m hoping I can see my dog this weekend if my dad or mom can bring her up.
That’s all for now,
Tried to do school today. Worked a little but eventually I gave up as people kept coming in and out of my room and I was getting super anxious and stressed.
Child life left this on my door:
Which is truly amazing.
Tomorrow I have a CT scan at 1, and Thursday I have my bronc. There’s not a time yet though. I had pfts today, they were the same as last time. My numbers are actually really good, I think my FEV1 was at 90, but despite that I’m still having issues breathing.
I keep getting crappy sleep. Having vitals every six hours makes my night look like this:
5:30-6am- t-com check and another set of vitals
8- Therapy #1
So overall, not good. The t-com is checking my carbon dioxide levels. I have hyperventilation when I sleep and I’m supposed to wear a bipap but I can’t sleep with it on. I’ve tried several masks, had two sleep studies, attempted actually sleeping with it on, but no luck.
The normal level for it is low 40s. The past few days mine have been generally around 45-48 but today it was 50.
My morning afternoon schedule is like this, generally:
Physical therapy(sometimes morning, sometimes early afternoon)
4pm- therapy #3
8pm- therapy #4
Anyways that’s all for now,
In technicality it is day 4 of antibiotics but I’ve been here for 5 days.
To be honest, today was relaxing. As always sleep is a struggle but that’s besides the point. After my first treatment at 8, I watched a couple movies with my mom while reading.
I ended up finishing The Mark of Athena, the third book in The Heros of Olympus series. Read almost 200 pages and it was awesome. Now I’m on page 40 of House of Hades.
Yesterday I got $30 from doing a Picc study. I got Sims 4 Realm of Magic game pack and have been obsessing over it for the past day or so. Switching back and fourth between that and Minecraft, which made my game crash.
Now on my survival world there are random chunks of mountains near the spawn point. TNT is my friend for this occasion. It might sound cool, you know mountains and such, but it’s more like large 15×15 square chunks of land.
I tried working on school later in the day, Chemistry specifically. For my online school I can get ahead of pace, so from preparing for admission I am still ahead of pace in 4 of my 7 classes, being on pace in 3.
So in the grand scheme of things, not bad but I’d rather be ahead of pace escpecially so I can take a day off for my bronchoscopy.
That’s all for now,
I got my picc! It was around 11:30 when I went back and it went well.
In the morning I entered a study which the hospital is doing to see if there’s certain antibiotics that make pics go bad in the cf community. I get 60 bucks overall which is a nice addition. They just had to take blood from the site when I first got it and then right before I get it out. Also measuring my arm everyday to check for swelling and such.
I got bad sleep, which is typical, especially for the first night. With the IV being finicky during antibiotics and people coming in and out, I didn’t get much sleep. The anxiety didn’t help much either.
Today was my first full day here and I already want to leave. My depression is just being fueled, the stress of school adds to my anxiety. Just everything is… ugh I don’t know.
Anyway that’s all for now,
As I was writing the title for this post, I realized that we’re nearing the end of the year. It’s funny looking back to January 1st, thinking about how this years gonna be different, but it’s just another day.
Sure we celebrate and that’s all fine and dandy, but it’s like celebrating that a Wednesday is turning into a Thursday. Don’t get me wrong, I like New Years, staying up late and watching the ball drop, hanging out with friends and such, but why?
When I was in the hospital over New Years, from December 26th to around 1-2 weeks after that, nothing changed. Sure the fact that I was in the hospital is different but not significantly more than all the other times.
I remember the moments that happened. My mom, dad, sister and I watching the ball drop from the tv, listening to the live bands and such. My nurse bringing my sister and I glow sticks and watching fireworks above the treeeline from the 12th floor of the hospital.
Those memories stuck with me not because it was a new year, but because it meant something to me.
Right now I’m racked with anxiety. My mind cannot stop thinking about every hospital stay and every possible outcome that could occur . I have pfts at 9.
Right now I’m trying a second course of prednisone and another antibiotic, along with a new inhaler. My lung infection has just gotten worse and I’m coughing up a storm. Based on my numbers I might or might not get admitted.
Last time my numbers were fine, they’ve never been a huge concern or revealed to much on to what’s going on. The thing is, even if my numbers are good, well relatively good at least, I still might get admitted.
I think I’m at a point where I should get admitted. My lungs constantly contracting and forcing air out in big heaves is no fun, especially with my already limited energy. But Im on my third week of 10th grade, online, but stressful none the less.
That said I don’t want to get admitted. I admit(god I’m saying that word a lot) no one wants to get in the hospital. There’s the word want, as in I want candy, but there’s also the term used for when you’d like for that thing to happen, but maybe on a later date.
When I say this like, its a very flexible meaning. I’d prefer to get admitted as I don’t want this to get any worse, but I don’t necessarily want that to happen.
I’m probably making no sense at this point, curse brain fog. Summary, might(probably idk) get inpatient tomorrow for lung infection. On another note I just finished the son of Neptune by Rick Riordan. Round of applause for this author. 👏👏👏 it was so goooddd.
Anyways that’s all for now,
Bye. (Sorry I suck at conclusions or whatever for blog posts, and or but definitely also for essays)