Pushing to hard with a Chronic Illness

The problem with chronic illnesses is that we hold ourselves to other people’s standards. We expect ourselves and our bodies to be able to handle as much as a ‘normal’ persons, when the truth is we can’t.

Someone might be able to go to work, go shopping, and take a shower, but with a chronic illness, it makes even simple tasks difficult. Pushing ourselves to much, trying to do as much as a ‘normal’ person can, leads to a downfall in our health.

I will push my body over the edge, trying to do school, art, even socializing. Even if I don’t feel good, I’ll push more. 4 hours of sleep. Staying on track with school. Basic hygiene. It’s all difficult.

On top of basic tasks, I have to remember to take care of myself. Treatments, medication, countless doctors appointments, it’s all difficult.

Coughing fits and flights of stairs drain my energy like a vacuum. Our bodies are working so hard to fight off bacteria and germs, that it pushes us to have to step back and look at things differently.

When trying to plan things, we have to focus our life away from our illness, try to not let it consume us.

That’s all for now,



Hospital Day#14

Today was the last day of antibiotics. I did my last doses of both cefapime and tobymyacine at 4 and 4:30am. Right now i don’t know when i’m going to be leaving the hospital, but my doctors are focusing on me gaining weight. I go two viruses from the hospital, c-diff, and Nora virus. I was up at night throwing up, but that subsided.

I was hooked up to fluids 24/7 a couple days ago, because of the virus I wasn’t drinking a lot. Now i’m just on tube feeds 24/7. I’m on a formula where it is 111 g of pediasure and 455 of water. Earlier today I was really nausea and threw up more than 2 liters, so basically I didn’t digest any of the feeds. I’m not eating orally that much, just a few bites of something here or there.

Whatever I eat I get nausea, and sometimes i’m still nausea when I don’t eat. This has been happening for maybe 2 years and were just now having doctors look at it. I’m going to get a gastric emptying test done which tests for gastroperisis, but I have to wait til I get over these viruses.

I have to wait out on the Nora virus and just let it run its course, but I’m on an antibiotic for it that doesn’t go through my picc.

I finally was able to leave my room today. Since I have those viruses I was on isolation and couldn’t leave my room, but now since i’m feeling better I can.

That’s all for now,


Hospital Day #7

So a lots been going on the last day or so. Yesterday I had thrown up around 6 times. Dry heaving, that fun stuff. I basil you slept all day yesterday. My heart rate was steady around 125 and my temperature is 100.9.

I’m still losing weight and so I feel weak. I did do tube feeds, but used a boost breeze instead of my peptamen. I threw up this morning and continued to dry heave afterward. I got an ultrasound and nothing showed up. I also got tested for celiac and ibs, both negative.

My blood sugar got tested and was normal also. There testing me for c dif and May do a gastric emptying test, which I’m hoping they do. It tests for Gastroparesis.

I’ve been hooked up to I’ve fluids since I haven’t been taking anything in.

I’m planning on doing a marvel movie marathon. Yay.

I don’t really have anything else to say. Thanks for all the support.

That’s all for now,


500 Posts

So many posts… the time I’m uploading it’s more than 500 ports, but you get the idea. I can’t believe I’ve uploaded 500+ posts, I wonder how long I’ve spent on this blog..? 😂

How my Illness makes me feel Older

Ever since I was born I’ve had to deal with this illness. Growing up it was always hard to deal with the extra responsibility I had. Not just that, but the actual disease that it causes your body to do. Luckily I did not get admitted when I was younger, but my parents have told me there had been a couple of close calls.

Of course my parents helped me a lot when I was younger, but as I grew up I had to be more and more responsible about it. I do appreciate it, sometimes it’s good to have extra responsibility,but there are limits we all have.

Any illness can make anyone feel twice there age. I am a teen, but I feel as though I have responsibilities of an adult.

It can be frustrating sometimes.

Having to do twice a day treatments with inhalers and nebulizers. Having to be on top of taking medications and doing treatments so you don’t end up in the hospital is stressful. It puts a lot of pressure on someone, physically and mentally.

That’s all for now,


P.s I am going to try to up,and more. I keep wanting to up,lad some of my sim builds, but I keep forgetting. I am starting school in a week so it Knut change, but I’m trying to at least upload once a day to be somewhat consistent.

Hospital Diaries #11

Today was a little more eventful than yesterday.

I took a shower. My respiratory therapist wasn’t the best and was an hour and a half late for my 8am treatment. She ended up showing up around 9:30, which was a bit ridiculous. I am most likely still getting discharged on Wednesday so I’m happy about that.

We took another leave on pass. We didn’t exactly leave the hospital, instead my dad brought my dog, Mya, up and we took her on a walk in a trail near the hospital. It was cool. She’s still young and she’s not the best mannered around other dogs and people, but she’s getting better at it. She didn’t bark and try to yank at them so that’s good.

My grandma and cousin came up and visited. My cousin got Brianna and I a large amount of smarties that will most likely last me a month or to considering I already had some.

At 12ish Vanessa came up and visited us. We went on a little walk in search for some Starbucks, but we weren’t successful. We did stop at the vending machines and get some chips.

I supposedly gained two pounds since yesterday, but I didn’t eat lunch and instead ate a load of smarties, so I think it’s just from all the sugar. I mean it’s not a bad thing I gained weight, I just think it’s not useful weight if that makes since.

I, of course, played sims. I’m working on a beach bungalow sort of thing with some items from the new patch update which are based on the Caribbean.

Last night we rented ready player one, which I now my favorite movie just above a quiet place. I highly recommend watching it. Plus for all you artists out there, the graphics are amazing.

I’m nervous to get a gtube. I would already be nervous to get a bronc even though I’ve had one before, but with the gtube I’m even more nervous. It’s like I’ve had 4 piccs before this one, but I’m still nervous before I got my 5th one.

I have a ct and pfts tomorrow, so that’s fun.

That’s all for now,